Refills, Written 10/03/2014

“Refills” Written 10/03/2014

A note for next time you're running low on pills:

CALL THE DOCTOR BEFORE YOU RUN OUT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

Just because you've been feeling better

doesn't mean you won't start falling again

When your pharmaceutical tether tether runs out of rope

and the hands of those who reach to help

fade beyond the black horizon of your mental cliff.

You should already know that you can't trust yourself.

After all, isn't that why you trust anyone who pauses to listen?

So when you hear yourself thinking

“you'll be fine for a few days. Hell, you could be fine forever.”

DO NOT LISTEN.

You will talk yourself into the six foot hole you dug yourself

and find the dirt that fills on top of you pouring out from your own mouth.

As you fall, you will still fight to live

grabbing at every branch and hand on the way down

but even the magic of falling in love again WILL NOT SAVE YOU.

even if you KNOW that THIS ONE is SURE to outlast ALL the others.

After all, her patience and understanding will run thin, like ALL the others

and she will leave you alone in the dark when you hit the bottom.

But hold on to her anyway.

Wrap your arms around her like you might absorb the warmth in her soul.

Swim in your eyes until you drown in her compassion.

Breathe in every kiss as though her lips

Refill your lungs with that old song of hope

that you forgot the words to again.

Maybe, Just maybe,

as you lay in silence

dancing fingers will send her grace through your skin

and the tranquility you share will spread peace to your mind.

After all, You keep telling yourself “she's Different”.

Like you tell her after you kiss her ear with a word of kindness

“I don't say anything that I don't mean”.